Small talks and idle chats were never her thing. She would usually be polite but reserved, and never really initiated what she considers as a pointless social etiquette.
When backed in an inescapable social setting, she’ll say all the appropriate responses and all the superficial comments, but these will never amount to anything more than a tiny scratch on her surface.
She reserves her words for the people who matter dearly to her. You’ll only ever get her fully-engaged if you really talk to her — if you spend some time with her to dig in deep and pick her brain.
Ask her about her thoughts on the Mexican drug cartel, or partake on a philosophical discourse on Plato, Machiavelli, or Bentham. The topics don’t always need to be so heavy. You can even discuss whether pineapple slices really belong on a pizza. (For the record, she says they do.)
And if you really want access to her innermost thoughts and her deeply-guarded feelings, read what she writes. Read what she finds time to reduce into written words. Read what keeps her up at night slouched as she writes or types her thoughts and feelings away.
If she voluntarily presents you with an opportunity to read her written words, know that it is an ultimate act of trust on her part. Know that she has spent the last three days mentally fighting against herself, and deciding to let you in had been a hard-won decision.
And when you’re finally able to read her written thoughts, tread carefully. She most likely values your opinion that’s why she shared her most private thoughts with you. You can’t just read everything and stay silent. She’ll expect a well-thought out response, and will probably feel affronted by a quick dismissal.
She’ll fascinate you with her words and thoughts, but she will expect the same level of openness from you.
Like I said, tread carefully.