She may appear carefree, outgoing and perfectly happy. I’ll have you know that she just got over a devastating heartbreak, and beneath the surface, she’s still nursing her heart.
She may appear as if smiles and laughs come easy to her. I’ll have you know that these are all for show, because smiling is way easier than dredging up painful memories for an explanation.
She may appear as if she’ll never run out of quips and jokes. Although a little awkward at times, she’s naturally witty once she becomes comfortable. I’ll have you know that the jokes are likewise cover-ups, for she has mastered the art of subterfuge.
She may look like she’s entertaining the guys who make a pass at her. I’ll have you know that whenever they pull her aside, she just points them at the direction of the other single women in the room, and she never even gives them her number.
She thinks it’s silly to harbor a crush for someone who never even made a pass at her, and whose jokes are entirely laughable for being so bad. I’ll have you know that she secretly thanks you for providing a much-needed respite from pain, and for proving to be a very effective distraction.
She will listen intently whenever you make a joke, and she will laugh, both with you and at you, for how terribly unfunny they are. I’ll have you know that she thinks your efforts at making her laugh are laudable, and she’s impressed by how you kept at them.
She secretly wonders if you’re single, and if you’re not, she’ll still think that the woman you’re dating is very lucky. I’ll have you know that she’s not entertaining the possibility of getting to know you, or of even dating you. She knows that she’s still too vulnerable for that.
She’ll never look up your social media accounts. She’ll never ask for your number. She’ll never ask about you, or try to know more about you. Still though, I’ll have you know that she thanks you, for providing an adorably awkward respite for her grieving heart.
So, to her silly crush with the silly jokes, thank you.