She Knew It Was Over Before It Even Ended

#TCFNoteToSelf


She knew. She could tell by the way you no longer held her hand the way you used to. She could tell by the kisses that used to be sweet expressions of affection, but had become routine and obligatory. She could tell by the miniscule details that you took for granted, but she kept her eyes on.

She knew. She dreaded it, but she knew.

She knew she no longer held your rapt attention as she once had. She knew she no longer topped your priorities like before. She knew that you would no longer take that hour’s drive just to see her for a few meager minutes. She knew that you’d use the flimsiest of reasons as excuse not to spend time with her.

She knew, but she stayed.

She held on for months, thinking that maybe it was just a phase, and that it will pass. She held your hand tighter than before, hoping you’ll feel the urgency in her touch. She kept her heart constant, hoping you’ll see that she’s choosing you over and over again.

She knew it was over, but hoped she was wrong.

She knew that your last I-love-you no longer held the meaning it once did. You said it out of desperation and fear of losing her. You said it because you were afraid of being alone after being used to having her by your side. You said it because you thought that those three magic words would make her stay. She knew these, too.

She knew it was over long before she threw in the towel, and it hurt her a lot.

It was very difficult seeing something she helped build up through the years crumble before her very eyes, and knowing that nothing she’ll ever do can fix it.

When she finally let go, it was because she was exhausted. She chose to preserve her sanity over loving someone who no longer felt the same way about her.

Author: Charlie Pelaez